Self Love
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I’ve been hanging out with Nick a lot lately. He’s a tall, good looking guy that I’m sure would make a lot of girls swoon, but I’ve never felt that way about him, which is sad, cause I’m pretty sure he’s got a crush on me. I’ve always been adept at keeping people in the friend zone though, for as long as I can. But eventually, they make their feelings known, and for Nick, today is that day. Now I have to explain things to him. That it’s not him, it’s me, but…not in the way he probably thinks. I have to keep EVERYONE in the friend zone. Guys, girls, everyone because none of them interest me. He gently pressed for more info, trying to understand. He asked me if I’m asexual, and that’s when I confessed my kink. The only person that turns me on is…me. I am a narcissist that gets super horny just looking at my own body in a mirror. Instead of laughing or making fun, Nick looked hopeful, like I’d in some way made him think he had a chance. “Would you kiss yourself if you could?” he asked. That made ME laugh. “Of course,” I said wistfully. “But that’s never gonna happen.” Nick stood and said, “Never say never.” And then I watched as his body began to morph from a tall, muscular guy, to a slender female with long hair that looked… JUST. LIKE. ME. “I don’t usually tell people this,” he explained, “but I’m a shapeshifter.” My heart began to pound as he brought his face, MY FACE, closer. Within kissing distance. I didn’t hesitate. I leaned forward, closing the gap, and began kissing myself. We began to move together through my apartment, refusing to detach from each other’s soft lips. When we arrived in my bedroom, we shed our clothes, and began having the best and longest makeout session of my life. If Nick does this all the time, he’s forever removed from the friend zone.
