Gas Money
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You’re my friend, but you call me so damn much for rides cause you don’t have a car… I’ll remind you that I’m not an uber. You’ll promise to fill up my gas tank, so like an idiot, I’ll pick your chunky ass up. I’ll take you where you need to go, and then as I’m taking you back home, I’ll pull into a gas station so you can do what you promised. And then every time, EVERY SINGLE TIME, you’ll shapeshift, suddenly looking like the hottest girl from my browser history. But today I don’t look at you. It’s hard, cause I hear the change happening in the passenger seat as you reshape your body into my female kryptonite. “Nope, it’s not gonna work this time dude. Seriously man, get out there and pay for the-” I hear a soft, feminine sigh next to me, and I look over at you, cause I am a dumb, dumb man. Where your overweight unattractive male body was, is now an unbelievably cute girl wearing your clothes. And now you’re lifting up your shirt. And I witness a perfect set of tits drop into view. I hate that you know I’m a boob guy. I’m already reaching for my wallet as you push them together. I don’t think I’m ever gonna learn.