Unlucky

[Kripto]

Shamus knew better than to steal a leprechaun’s gold. His mother had taught him all about the magical creatures that lived near their village. Through her wisdom, he’d become able to see them, and track them. She taught him the ones that were friendly and could grant boons, and the ones to avoid at all cost. Leprechaun’s were high on her list of warnings. Even though it was relatively easy to seek one out, it was paramount to never take its treasure, for the cost far outweighed the reward. Shamus had abided by this all his life, until the summer before he went to university. His car had broken down, and he saw an overwhelming amount of bills that he would not be able to pay. So near the end of the next rain, when the sun was peeking through the clouds, Shamus followed the rainbow to its source. It was here he found a pot of gold sitting at the feet of a sleeping leprechaun. He did not wait, but rushed forward and grabbed it and lifted it high above his head in victory. The clinking of the precious metal in the pot stirred the leprechaun. It sprang to its feet and bared its teeth at Shamus. “Drop me gold!” the fae trickster shouted. “Or you’ll be sorry!” Shamus smiled and shook his head.“Sorry, little man. I’ve got bills to pay.” And with that, he ran. He looked back, but the leprechaun was not behind him. Knowing his mother would disapprove, he hid the gold in a hole in their backyard. His plan was to dig it up at the end of summer and take it with him to university. He thought he was in the clear, that his mom had been wrong about the consequences of stealing from a leprechaun. But then things took a turn for Shamus. At first it was small stuff, like his mother accidentally burning most of their meals and all of his clothes shrinking in the wash. But then he broke his leg after a fall down the stairs. He’d tripped over a shoe that his mother had carelessly left in the most inopportune spot. This caused him to lose his summer job. The next week he lost his phone and his mother refused to help him find it. Then he missed important communication with the university, and found out too late that they no longer had a spot for him that fall semester. While he was laid up in the house with no job and a broken leg, he witnessed his mother changing. Her wrinkles were disappearing, and she was becoming more beautiful by the day. She still doted on him in a motherly fashion, but it seemed more for show than anything else, and she was constantly burning his meals. Shamus noted that she had started making a lot of online purchases. He had watched her bring in box after box from a delivery man. When he asked her what was inside, she’d just winked at him and said, “Wouldn’t you like to know,” and then she’d disappear into her bedroom. Shamus wasn’t sure he did, especially when he began hearing moaning coming from her bedroom on and off throughout the day. Shamus didn’t say anything at first, but finally on a day that he was feeling particularly sorry for himself and wondering why everything bad seemed to be happening to him, he went and knocked on his mother’s door during her loudest moaning session so far. “Come in,” she said sweetly. He opened the door, and there was his mother lying on the floor wearing the sluttiest outfit he’d ever seen her in. She was facing a camera, and was in process of spreading her legs, showing her bare pussy for whoever was watching. “Mom! What the hell are you doing?!” he cried. She smiled at him and said, “Well, I heard you needed money so badly that you stole a leprechaun’s pot of gold. So I started this stream to let people subscribe to your mom’s hot body. Your friends already know. They’ve been trying to tell you. That’s why I had to get rid of your phone.” That’s when everything clicked for Shamus. Every bad thing that had happened to him this summer. It was all because the leprechaun had found him. It had possessed his mother and used her to ruin his life. “I’ll give back your pot of gold,” Shamus said weakly. His mother laughed softly, then said, “Yes, you will. But know this, if you ever want to be getting your mom back, you’re going to kiss me four leaf clover.” Shamus looked confused. “What four leaf clover?” And that’s when his mom lifted her leg, and showed off her new sparkly four leaf clover buttplug.

“Get to kissing,” his mother’s voice said. “It’s what all the people watching want.” As Shamus crouched down on the floor, he was quite sure things couldn’t get any worse than this.